In this world, it is always assumed that all things have their opposite. Beautiful for ugly, day for night, silent for loud, lose for gain, friend for foe, winners for losers, happy for sad and many more.
It's like joining a contest, one aims to win above all. I for one aims for the gold! And luckily I can win in God's grace. But there is something that I am not happy about always winning sometimes and being always the cream of the crop. I know it is ridiculous to hate to win, but that's what I feel sometimes. And that is simply because of one reason, that is some of my fellow students are kind off making me feel isolated. They always say "maayo man ka kai like this, like that!" I really hate it. Instead of being flattered, I feel discriminated. That's why I view winning in two opposite perspective namely: gaining and losing.
Gaining. It is because aside from the certificates and medals that are to be added in my collection, the trust and fame is there. And my self esteem is always being brought to a higher level. I always gain appreciation. And I am thankful about that. Since my first day at NDSCP I always long to be the best so that I could get noticed and woah, I did! And in winning I also did gain self security and confidence. It is in winning I feel appreciated.
But on the other side of winning I am losing something. And that thing is very important, it's belongingness. I feel alienated among my fellow students sometimes. That is basically because they feel I do not belong to the group they are in, despite all the honors I bring to my department I am sometimes not happy.
I just hope that after this post, they will welcome me as an ordinary person, trying to fit in but stand out. Trying to do ordinary things in an extraordinary way. I want to belong. How I wish to win not only the contest but as well as their respect and warmth.
Gaining. It is because aside from the certificates and medals that are to be added in my collection, the trust and fame is there. And my self esteem is always being brought to a higher level. I always gain appreciation. And I am thankful about that. Since my first day at NDSCP I always long to be the best so that I could get noticed and woah, I did! And in winning I also did gain self security and confidence. It is in winning I feel appreciated.
But on the other side of winning I am losing something. And that thing is very important, it's belongingness. I feel alienated among my fellow students sometimes. That is basically because they feel I do not belong to the group they are in, despite all the honors I bring to my department I am sometimes not happy.
I just hope that after this post, they will welcome me as an ordinary person, trying to fit in but stand out. Trying to do ordinary things in an extraordinary way. I want to belong. How I wish to win not only the contest but as well as their respect and warmth.
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